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Po Shan Chan

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Entering the world of dissociation and division

"Who am I?" Po Shan was deeply troubled by this question when she was nine. Starting from a young age, she experienced disorientation, and during her teenage years, she had hallucinations. When she turned 18, psychiatrists shed light on her constant amnesia and illusions. She was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Dissociative Disorder. Po Shan felt uneasy about the diagnosis, and her Dissociative Disorder made her more disturbed. She felt torn between her identities, or “alters”, as they are called. Po Shan has four alters. They vary in age, and each one has different characteristics and habits. She used to hate her alters for the problems they brought to her, but gradually, she has come to realise that dissociation is a defence mechanism. In dealing with the different identities, it is better to find a way for them to co-exist. Only then would life get better.